A touch of class

29 April 2015

The next morning, after I filmed the short video of the previous evening's lesson in daring-do, I went down to the lobby and my concierge, Eli (pronounced Ellie), called me over. "So, when do you want to go to The Pyramids?", he asked. "The Pyramids....oh, are they here in Cairo? I thought they were in the UK", I joked.

Eli, not being able to contain the fact that he did not find my joke the least bit amusing, reaches under the counter and pulls out this big book of all things tourist love to do in Egypt. He shows me pages about guided tours that the hotel can set up. A trip to the Giza Plateau, with a private guide, for the whole day (nearly). Yes, Yes, and Yes. "How does Friday sound?", he inquired. "Friday is perfect. Can't wait"

From there, I went outside, crossed Sahel Al Ghelel and went into the Hilton Annex Mall. It was my assumption that the mall would be filled with name brand stores and merchandise. This assumption stemmed from my knowledge of the Hilton company as being a luxury accommodation. However, this mall had 5 levels of local vendors with knock off bags and shoes, locally made apparel, and souvenirs. The bottom level has a nice enough cafe.

The top floor has a casino (which I did not visit), a McDonald's (also did not visit), and a movie theatre, which had recent releases of Arabic movies and worldwide favorites. Of particular interest to me was "Avengers: Age of Ultron". I went to the box office to inquire about the show times. The lady behind the counter pointed to a prominently displayed schedule.

Hoping that my best was good enough, I began to make gestures and broken words to describe that I wanted one ticket for Avengers. "What time you want?", she asked. "Oh forgive me. You speak English?", I replied, surprised. She nodded with a proud smile, so I asked for the 1300 showing. She showed me a seat map of the theatre, put an x on a seat that was about 7th row center. "Is this OK?", she asked. I was baffled, and not wanting to hold up the people behind me, I said, "Great. Thank you". I get to pick an assigned seat? I never experienced this.

After leaving the box office, a man approached me and asked "You bought a ticket for Avengers? You know it's in 3D? You will require 3D glasses. They are 30 Pounds." It was my immediate assumption that the guy was trying to scam me, because for one thing, if he was an employee of the theatre, what's he doing on the customer side of the box office? "I am attending the non-3D version. I won't need the glasses", I retorted. "All the showing of Avengers are in 3D. If you would like, I will purchase the glasses for you", he offered. "Allow me to speak to the box office girl myself", I refused.

I went to the box office again and the lady apologized and told me the movie was indeed in 3D, and that the glasses were 25 Pounds, or I can give her my ID to borrow a pair. What is 5 EGP gonna buy this guy? Why would he try to scam me for a measly 5 Pounds? That's 66¢ American! Anyway, I bought a pair.

I went back to my hotel to freshen up, but I wrote my new friend Deborah about the scammer. Took a shower, dressed decently, grabbed my 3D glasses and made my way back to the theatre. The ticket person tore my ticket, but only halfway and returned it to me. Huh? That's a new one.

I procededed further inside, looking for which movie house my movie was playing in. When I found the proper movie house, I was surprised to find the scammer was not a scammer. He was my usher!

"My name is Hasem. Welcome.", he said as he put his hand out to be taken in friendship, I shook his hand as he continued, "The movie will be ready in a few minutes. Please wait here", he said, with the same near perfect English that I though was trying to cheat me out of a mere 5 Pounds. Shorty after, movie patrons began to emerge from the movie's previous showing. Then a small cleanup crew went in, and came out a few minutes later.

"My friend!", Hasem called to me. "Come with me". I followed him in and he sat me in the seat I purchased. I haven't been ushered to a movie theatre seat in as long as I can remember. However, the seat was broken, so I sat in an adjacent seat, hoping it was not assigned to anyone else.

The theatre began to fill up as the show was about to begin. Then the light dimmed, the previews rolled, the "silence your phone" requests played, and then the movie started.

The movie was in English, with Arabic subtitles. I found it humorous that the jokes that were said onscreen had a delayed reaction from the Arabic speaking theatre goers. I was surprised to find that even with my very mismatched eyesight, some 3D effects jumped out at me.

Later in the flick, during the scene where Scarlet Witch cast a spell that caused Bruce Banner to turn into The Hulk, let loose on the streets in Wakanda, and Tony Stark calls in Veronica, the Hulkbuster armor. A battle ensues, as Stark tries to subdue the Hulk.

When the final punch is thrown, the film stops, the lights turn on, and I'm like "Fuck!". I'm thinking there's something wrong with the movie projector. But, nearly everyone else is getting up and leaving the theatre. There's no shouting in Arabic. There's no shouting at all. Now, I'm confused.

I figure I'll just wait 'til they fix whatever is wrong. But, as the movie goers return to their seats with food and refreshments in their hands, I realize "Intermission?" The last time I had an Intermission was during 'Pinocchio', and I think I was five.

Sure enough, as soon as everyone was seated, then movie started again with the Avengers all on the Quinjet, with Banner listening to Maria Callas portraying La Diniva singing "Casta Diva" from the opera "Norma".

The movie continues as the Avengers are able to work together to defeat Ultron's plan of world annihilation, and everyone in the theatre starts clapping. Clapping, as if The Avengers on the other side of the 4th wall could possibly hear them. The last time I was in a theatre that everyone clapped when the good guys defeated the bad guys was a showing of Star Wars, and I think I was maybe ten.

Then the credits rolled, we all got up, and as I watched, everyone, and I mean everyone brought their trash from the theatre and put it in the trash on their way out. The theatre was as clean as when we arrived.

I left the theatre feeling exhilarated (as usual), but also refreshed and delighted. These Egyptian movie houses have what American movie houses have lost: A touch of Class.