My first ad

29 April 2015

After my harrowing, near death experience in the 6th of October bridge freeway, and my observation of the highway from my balcony, I had the idea to rent a car and get out onto the road with all the other lunatics.

But in all my excitement, loneliness set in. As much fun as I am having in Cairo, I am having fun in Cairo alone. And as my bout of melancholy began to take it's course, I had an even better idea.

My idea was more like a fantasy. I know what the Internet is: It's a haven for liars, and all that is bad in the world. But, the world is just like that, too. The real world is just as bad as the virtual world.

So, I figured: If I yell into a crowd of people "What about love!?", and someone yells "Don't you want someone to care about you!?", then I'll know that there is someone out there who remembers '80s music well enough to report back.

So, if there's truth and beauty in the real world, there's a glimmer of hope for the virtual world. But, where to cry out? Well, that's where my loneliness turned to sexual deviancy.

I began writing my "cry out" ad on Cairo.craigslist.eg in "Casual Encounters". Once I began writing, I couldn't stop. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. Not unlike the deviants who browse the section of craigslist I intended to advertise in.

My first ad was entitled: "These Cairo drivers are nuts, and we can be, too!"

So, I'm in Cairo 'til the 3rd week of May. Originally from the Washington DC area.

I like driving into Washington 'cause as soon as you cross the 14th Street bridge, you have to change into maniac mode. It seems these Cairo drivers are doing it east coast style. Maybe even worse.

I went out for a walk last night along the Nile and just crossing the street is an adventure. Like a dummy, I climbed the stairs and crossed the 6th of October Bridge traffic. At the time, I doubted I would ever get across. Hell, there was a beggar slowly walking the bridge median with a cane, and I think he was doing better than me. I wanted to help him cross, but I think he was there to stop traffic and accept money.

These Cairo drivers are maniacs! I wanna give these Cairo drivers some DC courtesy (meaning: none). I wanna get out there where there are no rules (at least, it appears that there are no rules).

But, I don't wanna just drive aimlessly. I want the drive to have meaning and purpose.

So, here's where you come in: I rent a car (manual is my preference). I pick you up. We get out into the streets of Cairo for some honking, yelling, and dramatic close-calls. We park and have a nice dinner and conversation at a restaurant you would enjoy (no McDonald's!). We get back out there for some more white-knuckle driving. I take you back, or drop you wherever*.

I am American (with Greek/Syrian parents), tall, bald, with/ a slight tummy, handsome.

I do not speak Arabic (yet!).

You are Egyptian or of Arabic decent, around my age or younger (not teenage), progressive or traditionally dressed, slim, beautiful.

You should also speak Arabic and English fluently, a non-smoker, give good driving directions, and not scare easily.

Importantly, you should not be a prostitute. I use the word "should" instead of some other definitive word because I do not want to discriminate. I have no expectation of intimacy or extra services, and neither should you. This is just for fun, dinner, and pleasant company. If you are a prostitute, and have good conduct, then we should have a nice time.

Also, please no TS, TG, gay or cross-dresser.

Your pic gets mine (so you have a choice as well). I want to pick someone, not just the first one to respond. So, please forgive me for asking to see a pic before we go out. Don't send a pic with your hair down and then appear wearing a hijab or full burqa. Hijabs are cool, as long as this is who you are, in life and in the pic as well. If you dress progressively (hair down, contemporary clothing), and this is who you are, then this is fine also.

*Also, this is not a scam intended to hurt someone, so please do not turn this into one. Please, no scammers. I will not pick you up, nor drop you off somewhere dark and not public. Nor do I want to be directed to drive somewhere dark and not public. I have no plans to drive you anywhere dark or not public. This is intended to be a fun night of maniacal driving and delicious dining.

Thank you for taking the time to read this very long ad. I hope to find someone amicable to go out with one evening.
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Two women replied. "Sally" replied, looking for friends with benefits. She included a pic of a very lovely and voluptuous woman. I replied a bit unfavorably, not specifically looking for benefits, but included my pic in the reply. In hindsight, I figured that if I didn't want a reply like that, I should not have advertised in Casual Encounters, but as luck would have it, I never heard from her again. I guess she didn't like me.😟

Then I got an email from Deborah, and I could tell right from the first reply, she was perfect:

What a fabulous crazy idea ! I am an expat here from Australia  as have driven once in Cairo it was definitely  a memorable  experience I lost a side mirror ( watch those mini buses they are very aggressive ) I nearly flipped the car exiting too fast o and hitting the kerb and I have a terrible feeling I ran over someone's foot !,
Just a word of warning be very very careful who you go with there are so many scams and it's not as safe here as it once was , but other the  that I hope you have  great time

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Deborah and I never went on that crazy ride, but continued the email conversation for days afterwards. Deborah became my first new friend in Cairo.