Dear Sarah.....

This will be my last letter.

I had a very vivid dream last night. Sarah was there and alive and I thought things were back to normal. While still in the dream, I snapped out of it to realize that Sarah is supposed to be gone. I figured, if Sarah could reply to my blog letters, the spell could be broken.

So, I asked Sarah to reply to my letters, and she flat-out said: "John, I cannot reply to your letters". Then she turned away to occupy herself with something she was doing. I placed my hand on her left shoulder. It was cool to the touch, and I knew, Sarah would never reply to my letters. Sarah is gone.

Dear Sarah,

I'm sure you would not want me to dwell about you while you're gone. You always wanted me to find someone. You gave me all the tools I need to find someone. You taught me so many things, but most of all, you taught me how to please someone. Humorously, financially, sexually, you made me a better man.

You did not want me to fall in love with you, but I did. You did not want me to leave you, but I did. You wouldn't want me to forget you, and I never will.

Sarah, I got that job I wanted, and I'm gonna make it work. I'm gonna call Hanna and try to see her again. I'm gonna try to make my life work without you, 'cause I feel you want that for me.

Sarah, I love you forever and I miss you forever, but now I must go on forever,

John